How Dogs are Better Than Men:

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you (except "fetch")
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
Dogs understand what "no" means.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
A dog's parents rarely show up at your door unannounced.
A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
A dog never expects you to call it on the telephone.
A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
 A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you..

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How Dogs and Men are the Same:

Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both mark their territory.
Both think that public flatulence is either normal or funny.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Neither does any dishes.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither understands what you see in cats.

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(And, in the spirit of fairness...)
 How Dogs are Better Than Women:

Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs get over it if you give their offspring away.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs don't worry about germs.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had a relationship with.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would prefer that you buy them a hamburger rather than a lobster.
Dogs are ready to go out on a moment's notice, 24 hours a day.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs generally don't outlive you.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
Dogs think you sing great.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

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